When Hollywood’s award season rolls around, I don’t squirm in my seat waiting for news of nominees and photos of acting’s elite in couture I could never afford. I don’t peruse the web for comments from statue hopefuls or plan parties for viewing the big shows. And I certainly don’t bother to watch every film or listen to every song that various academies deem most worthy among the year’s releases.
From the Grammys to the Academy Awards and everything in between, watching a bunch of overpaid individuals receive accolades isn’t exactly my idea of a fun night in front of the TV. Once upon a time, I might have tuned in to how many MTV Video Music Awards *NSync walked away with or whether or not Diablo Cody was recognized for her fabulous writing abilities in “Juno.” However, times have changed and I now care very little about who wins which golden presentation. Why? Well, let’s move on to a few bullet points, shall we?
- Although the aim of these shows is to recognize “the best,” so many turn to award ceremonies as the scale for gauging which films are worth the $8 theater fee. But isn’t that determination little more than the opinion of a panel of judges? Is their stance any better than my own? Do their tastes in music mirror my own, or perhaps venture in another direction? The Academy’s decision to name one movie as superior doesn’t necessarily make it so in the eyes of everyone, and yet it often seems their opinionated choice should be the only logical one. My complete disagreement with that leaves a bad taste in my mouth for award season.
- “Thank you to my director, my producer, my family, my friends, my dog, the guy who made me the awesome tuna sandwich, the girl in fourth grade who said I’d never amount to anything, the black cat who nearly cross my path.” OMG… Who cares? If the winners were to approach the microphone with some witty words, I’d be quite interested in their babble. Instead, they simply rattle a listing of names — none of which I know — to ensure their gratitude is expressed. As a result, I quickly lose interest in the repeated speeches filled with proper nouns. Unfortunately the occasional humorous remark is simply not enough to keep my eyes peeled to the screen.
- Talk about a robotic production! When presenters are able to speak off the cuff, the shows are certainly more appealing. But reading from scripts and teleprompters make for dull television moments and lackluster, lost jokes. So much potential for this programming yet it simply falls on its face year after year.
- Two hours is too brief for a typical awards show. Most reach into three or four hours. How is my attention span supposed to remain through the final credits? I mean, really…
- Twitter turns into a constant stream of banter about the shows. To find a non-award-related comment takes significant digging, as Sunday night clearly proved. One person criticizes, another praises. Love this, hate that, yadda yadda yadda. The back-and-forth, back-and-forth is far too much to bear. Avoidance is my typical approach when award season rolls around.
Despite some beautiful gowns that parade down the red carpet, little more truly makes these award shows worthy of my time. Will those shiny statuettes make a difference to the worlds of film and music? Absolutely. But in my life, they matter none. I enjoy certain tunes and movies because of their appeal to my personal taste. I do not need a long, drawn-out, tedious, boring broadcast to change or dictate my preferences. Now it’s time to enjoy the next several award-free months. Yay!
