It was late Friday night — early Saturday morning, to be exact — and I was blissfully sleeping in my bed. The boyfriend had a few friends over the apartment, but I ducked out early and retired to my room with my 10 a.m. waitressing shift a mere eight hours away. And by 3:30 a.m., I was unaware that the world still continued around me as dreams filled with color and nonsense filled my head.
But the boyfriend made too much noise as he slipped underneath the covers and I awoke to, “Why is the bed wet?” With the slight annoyance of just being woken up lingering in my voice, I simply replied that I didn’t know — after all, my side of the bed wasn’t even damp — before rolling over and swiftly drifting back into my peaceful slumber.
Twelve hours after I awoke, around 9 p.m., I was finally home from my double-shift day at the restaurant. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I figured I’d meet my boyfriend and some friends for the Saturday night UFC fight. But one little pooch clearly decided to thwart my plans…
As my parents hit the beach for the weekend, their dog — a Lhasa Apso named Muffin — became my responsibility and resided within my apartment. For many years, when I lived home, Muffin was our family dog and I never really encountered any issues with her, so I assumed, wrongly, that this weekend would be more of the same. Instead, I was greeted by piss all over my boyfriend’s side of the bed as I arrived home from work Saturday evening.
…And the first thought that crossed my mind? “This must be what made the bed wet last night, too.”
That’s right, my boyfriend slept in dog piss the night before.
Needless to say, I hope, I very quickly tossed my comforter and sheets into the wash before continuing with my previously-laid plans for that evening. And once I arrived at the bar for the fight, I immediately shared the news with my boyfriend who wasn’t all-too-thrilled about spending the previous evening rolling around naked in sheets covered in urine.
Perhaps this will teach him to wear pajamas to bed.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
The whole time I read this I was saying “ew ew ew ew ew” out loud.
Just thought you should know that.
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Mindy Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
@Jenn, I’m glad I know it, ha.
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Hahahahahahaha rolling around in dog piss.
Also, why would you want your boyfriend to wear clothes to bed? Haha. That’s less fun.
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I gotta second jenn on this one: ew ew ew. but I really hoped he learned his lesson, lol
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Mindy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:06 pm
@thatShortChick, …He hasn’t.
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Think I found a new favorite blog. You are quite hilarious, and I love journalism myself. Cannot wait to read more!
Best,
Hannah Katy
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Mindy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:06 pm
@Hannah Katy, Ha, awww, thanks. I’m not really that funny all the time. This was just a very special moment. But yay for loving journalism! There’s very few people out there still who do adore it.
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Haha! This is too funny. Poor boyfriend.
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No compassion for poor Muffin? She was scared and feeling abandoned by those who love and care for her. Just as a small child will do, she was acting out to seek attention…. Someone had to defend the poor puppy!!
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Mindy Reply:
June 28th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
@Marie White, …Mom, really? No, no compassion. She peed the bed TWICE. And then, when I yelled at her, she peed again out of spite.
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