Apparently, I enjoy masturbation.

I have never been one for “To Do” lists.  Following the suit of friends who swore by them, I’d compile some arbitrary tally of the different menial tasks I hoped to accomplish in a day, a week, even a month, and begin checking them off as I completed each one. And, typically, those lists lasted a few hours, three days at best, and had the majority of tasks still waiting to be done.

I’m a child of procrastination – why bother today when tomorrow’s around the corner? Oftentimes, I’d refer to myself as “Princess Procrastination,” a title I proudly wore when asked to gallivant around Wal-Mart or take a nondestinational drive through the valley and prolong writing my final English paper. I can count more than one occasion where I opted to join my roommates in a “Thirsty Thursday” bar outting despite not even beginning a project I had due in less than 12 hours.

But I nearly always finished … and did well … on those tasks I prolonged for more exciting ventures. Perhaps there was a $50 rebate for my cell phone I forgot about and missed out on, and maybe there was a time – or three – I lingered at the cafe I worked at in college too long and failed to read a short story before my Fiction Writing class. For the most part, however, I accomplished my goals – homework assignments, household tasks and bills to be mailed – by deadline.

And now - despite a mediocre “To Do” list on my desk (I seriously need to get this $30 rebate from my year’s-worth-of-contact-lenses purchase in the mail ASAP) that will likely be thrown into the trash by Thursday’s end – I have challenged myself to complete “101 Things in 1,001 Days.” Too ambitious? I’m thinking so.

I found this large-scale, overly-optimistic “To Do” list on another blog – my apologies to whomever that was as I have completely forgotten! – and foolishly decided to undertake this challenge myself. It took me NEARLY A MONTH to even compile 101 things I wanted to achieve in less than three years. That alone should be a signal that I was embarking upon something nearly impossible for the Princess herself, and yet, I finished the list and posted it here. (*Check the lefthand side for further information on the crazy, somewhat impossible goals I’ve set for myself – or be lazy and click here.)

Am I really going to swim with a dolphin by April 2011? Highly unlikely, especially considering my amazing financial status at the moment … but, what the hell? I added it to the list anyway. If I can cross off half – Who am I kidding? One-third! – of these goals I’ll be lucky. But, I suppose creating a massive, way-too-ambitious “To Do” list was the first step. Maybe one day, I’ll be that neurotic girl writing “Honey Do” notes for her husband as a result of accomplishing so many of these worthwhile tasks…

…or maybe I’ll forever be Princess Procrastination, choosing to blog/read blogs half the work day and nearly miss her 3 p.m. news deadline. I’m assuming the latter. 

“Procrastination is like masturbation; it may feel good at first, but in the end, you’re just fucking yourself.”

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